Most of us have experienced difficult moments at work — a sharp tone, a misunderstanding, or a manager having a bad day. Usually, we brush it off and carry on. But sometimes, those “one-off” moments start to repeat themselves. Before you realise it, the pattern begins to affect your confidence, your comfort, and even your mental wellbeing.
This blog is an honest reflection on my own experience, and a guide for anyone who finds themselves in a similar situation.
When a Communication Style Crosses a Line
I’ve worked in food production for around nine years, mostly in supervisory roles. I’m used to pressure, fast decisions, and direct communication. But over the last few months, I’ve been dealing with a manager whose communication style has consistently felt abrupt, dismissive, and at times hostile.
At first, I took the early incidents as one-offs. We all have moments where we’re stressed or rushed.
But then the pattern continued:
- abrupt tone
- commanding language
- undermining comments
- being spoken to in front of others in a way that felt disrespectful
- being questioned aggressively without being allowed to explain
- having my decisions challenged even when following the Production Manager’s guidance
When these moments repeat, they stop feeling like “bad days” and start feeling like behaviour.
The Impact You Don’t Notice Straight Away
The truth is, repeated behaviour slowly chips away at you.
You start to:
- doubt yourself
- feel tense when certain people walk into the room
- overthink simple decisions
- lose confidence in your role
- feel uncomfortable speaking up
- carry stress home with you
For me, the turning point was realising that whenever this manager was around, my guard went up. That’s not how a healthy workplace should feel.
Work shouldn’t make you feel intimidated, undermined, or unsafe — emotionally or mentally.
A Moment That Made Me Step Back
The most recent incident happened on Thursday 23rd. I was following instructions agreed with the Production Manager, but the Deputy Production Manager questioned me aggressively about what I was doing. His tone was hostile, and once again, he didn’t let me explain.
“What do you want me to do — listen to the PM or to you?”
That’s not a position any supervisor should be put in.
And that’s when I realised: I value myself too much to ignore this.
Guidance: What You Can Do When Behaviour Starts Affecting You
Here are the steps I took — and the steps I’d recommend to anyone facing similar behaviour.
1. Acknowledge the pattern
It’s easy to dismiss the first few incidents. But when they repeat, take a moment to recognise the impact.
2. Speak to someone you trust at work
For me, this was the Production Manager. Explain the situation calmly and factually.
3. Follow the correct chain of command
If you’re stuck between two managers, ask for clarity:
“If instructions differ, who should I follow?”
This protects you and removes confusion.
4. Raise it informally with HR
Not to escalate — but to have it on record. This is a protective step, not a confrontational one.
5. Protect your wellbeing
If the behaviour continues, it’s okay to explore other job options. You’re not giving up — you’re valuing yourself.
6. Remember: respect is not optional
Hierarchy doesn’t give anyone the right to speak to people in a way that causes harm.
Knowing When It’s Time to Protect Yourself
You can be experienced, calm, professional, and dedicated — but if someone repeatedly undermines you, it will eventually affect your wellbeing.
And that’s when you have to step back and say:
“This isn’t the environment I want to be in.”
Creating a backup plan isn’t weakness. It’s strength. It’s self-respect. It’s knowing your worth.
Gentle Disclaimer
This blog is based on personal workplace experience and reflection. It isn’t formal guidance — just thoughts that may help others navigate similar situations.
FAQ
Why does repeated behaviour affect mental wellbeing?
Because your nervous system learns patterns. If someone repeatedly speaks to you in a hostile or undermining way, your body starts to anticipate it.
Should I confront the person directly?
Only if you feel safe and supported. Some situations are better handled through management or HR.
Is it wrong to look for another job?
Not at all. It’s a protective step, not a failure.
How do I know when it’s time to act?
When the behaviour becomes a pattern and starts affecting your confidence, comfort, or wellbeing.
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